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You might be a FRED
if...
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you show up to a group ride in full
euro team gear and get dropped at the first acceleration.
you wear leggings with too small shorty shorts that leave a six-inch
gap of exposed flesh on each leg.
your helmet is older than your mother.
you tuck your jersey in your bike shorts.
you wear full-face winter gear in 60 degree weather.
you wear your bib suspenders outside of your jersey.
you wear anything from the GAP on a group ride.
you do all your research at your local bike shop then buy your
equipment on eBay.
your legs are hairier than Scott Brumbelow’s.
you fly to the front of the pack then bog the pace because you are
blown..
you start a race wearing athletic tube socks, hiking boots and a
backpack - attack at the gun and get dropped at mile 2.
you show up to a four hour epic ride with a half a bottle of Gatorade
and Tic Tacs.
your bike is worth more than several mortgage payments and you think
the term sprint only applies to your cellular service.
you wear your Fruit of the Loom tighty whiteys under you bike shorts.
you have so many gadgets, aero bars and junk on your handlebars you
look like an eight point buck.
you wear any neon colors.
your bike is older than your mother.
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Please send
suggestions or FRED sightings to: info@memphisvelo.com
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